I have been in denial about all of this. We are in week 6 of this worldwide craziness. When it first started I thought we would be back to normal in no time. I mean how badly could all of this really affect us? Well, I was in denial. I kind of have been this whole time, thinking that at any moment someone will say, “ok times up, go back to your gatherings, parties, churches, and work.” But it hasn’t worked out that way. And I don’t think it will. I have been in denial about a quarantine schedule for my children as well. I see so many wonderful people coming up with these wonderful schedules and I am so envious because we don’t have one. I have struggled with setting a routine because each day is different, yet the same. It is strange, and overwhelming, and crazy. I do not want my desperate need for structure and a schedule to keep me from missing out on the little things the Lord wants me to learn. But in the midst of my denial I have sensed the lord saying over and over again, “it’s ok, I hold all things together, so no need to know what is next.” I have felt him stripping me of my need for structure and a schedule that is packed full from hour to hour for me and my family, and him just calmly smiling as we move into another day enjoying it minute by minute. When I am in denial I want the lord to lead me to the One who holds the world in his hands. When reality is hard let us turn to the One who is still working and writing our stories. I don’t want denial to take away what I am supposed to learn during this time, because clearly I am supposed to learn something from all of this.
“Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.”
Psalm 103:2-5
Forget not what the Lord does for you. Even in this time. Even in our denial. Even in our struggle for life to return to normal. Understanding that he is the One who forgives, who redeems, who crowns, who satisfies. He will redeem even this. So keep moving forward one step at a time. Keep praying. Keep pressing towards Jesus who is holding you through all of this. Keep setting your mind on the Giver of truth and not the denial. Keep doing the hard and holy work he has called us to at this time. Even without a schedule, even without a plan, enjoy every moment so we don’t miss what he is teaching us.
My prayer for this season no matter how long it lasts is this, “But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumphal procession, and through us spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of him everywhere. For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing (2 Corinthians 2: 14-15).” May whatever we do be used to spread the fragrance of the knowledge of him everywhere we go. Right now, because we are not going many places, may we spread it in our homes like never before. There is too much at stake for us to not be thinking about how we point those in our homes back to Jesus. May we realize like never before to live in the moment. Let’s not let our denial steal our ability to allow the Lord to lead us in a triumphal procession so that we may spread him in any way we can in this time.
